oh wow...
I had so much to say, but now that I finally am in the act of writing it, none of those thoughts come to me. It's like I have so many things swimming around in my head, they make perfect sense there, but come out all jumbled on pen and paper. So basically I have no idea where this entry is going... Well, for starters, school is going to be hard. I mean i thought junior year was hard enough, but what happened on Friday is going to affect everyone differently, even those who never knew him are hurting. I mean, I didn't ever know him very well except for that week in 8th grade camp, but even I shed a tear last night. It just is such a shame that someone who's life was going so well has to end so abruptly. It just makes me realize that life is precious and can be taken away at any moment(how cliche -rolls eyes-). Anways, I mean Brandon wasn't just a name or a face, but he was an actual person, in my grade, who i knew. It's just a really strange feeling. I don't know else to explain it. It's just weird, and not a good weird, not good at all....
sorry for all the sad talk, I just had to let it out somewhere

I have finally decided to update my journal considering is has been the same since... MARCH! wow I didn't even realize it was that long. Shows how much I pay attention. Well, its finally summer if those of you very oblivious people have not noticed and I am SO enjoying NOT going to school. I mean I hate not getting to see my friends everyday and tell them everything, but I hate school more so yeahhhh. Summer for me lets me just think a lot because instead of spilling everything to people I actually have to make decisions by myself. Its sorta like a self discovery thing, I get to know myself better and figure out more of who I am. Wow that sounds chiche but too bad I'm going to say it anyways. I'm somewhat bored all the time, but I find weird ways to keep myself occupied... welllll (prolonged L sound) that's about it so goodbyes!

bleh :[

Honesty...
Honestly, what color is your underwear? blue and white stripes... O_o
Honestly, what's on your mind? i should be doing my homework/projects that are due REALLY soon
Honestly, what are you doing right now? thinking...
Honestly, who is your best friend? caitlin, but i love all you guys~
Honestly, have you done something bad today? ummm not that i remember
Honestly, do you watch Disney channel? sometimes. when hannah montana ISNT on
Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone? lenie-poo ^__^
Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? isn't everyone?
Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time? people being better than me at stuff
Honestly, do you bite your nails? strangely only on my left hand
Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment? of course
Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now? not that i know of...
Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like? somewhat, but nona you guys don't worry
Honestly, does anyone like you? i only wish...

Ability
Can you blow a bubble? yes
Can you dance? uh maybe for a white girl, but other than that no
Can you do a cart wheel? yes
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth? no, i tried, its hard!
Can you touch your toes? yes (thanks yoga)
Can you whistle? no
Can you wiggle your ears? no
Can you wiggle your nose? sometimes but not on purpose
Can you roll your tongue? yes
Can you make a clover with your tongue? yeah baby!

Anger
What do you do when you’re mad? clench my fists
What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? i don't know...
Ever made anyone cry when you were mad? unfortunately
Do you swear when you’re mad? only not in front of my parents

Tears
Ever really cried your heart out? i dunno what that is supposed to mean?
Ever cried yourself to sleep? yepp
Ever cried on your friend’s shoulder? again yes
Ever cried over someone of the same sex? um yeah my friends???
Do you cry when you get an injury? yeah, but i try to hold it in
Do certain songs make you cry? when im depressed yes
Do certain movies make you cry? only the first time i watch them

Happiness
Are you usually a happy person? mostly
What makes you the happiest? being happy
Does being with your friends make you happy? isn't that part of the definition of them being your friends?
Do you believe in yourself? only sometimes...
Do you wish you were happier? again sometimes...
Is being happy overrated? yeah because no one can be completely happy
Can music make you happy? DUH *smacks forehead*

Love
How many times have you had your heart broken? none...
Have you ever loved someone so much that you’d die for them? no
Has anyone besides your friends/family ever said ‘I love you’? noooo
Do you actually hate anyone? for a point in time, but not now
Ever made a hit list? unfortunately
Have you ever been on a hit list? i don't know i don't look at people's hit lists
Are you a mean bully? no
Do you hate George Bush? not hate, i just disagree with him on some aspects

Self-esteem
Is your self-esteem extremely low? at times
Are you good looking? how about you be the judge of that...
Do you wish you could be someone else? sometimes

Physicality
What is your current hair color? brunette
Current piercings? one in each ear
Have any tattoos? eventually i will get one
Straight hair or curly? straight
What shirt are you wearing? big t-shirt and short shorts
Shoes? socks
Necklace? not but lotsa bracelets

Have you ever...
Hugged someone? yeahhhh
Been on the phone until the sun came up? no
Laughed so hard you cried? yeessss
Got in a fight with someone? um yeah...
Been on a plane? yeppp
Been asked out by someone? do 11 year olds count? wait no that sounds really loserish....
Been to the ocean? many many times
Painted your nails? im a girl.... duh....

Last...
Person you talked to in person? mom
Person you talked to online? helena
Person you talked to on the phone? helena again
Person you hugged? helena again again
Person you kissed? never been kissed :[
Person you hung out with? caty
Thing someone said to you? bye
Time you slept in all morning? last sunday
Thing you said out loud: bye
Restaurant you ate at: subway
Thing you had to drink: milk
Movie you watched: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (sooo cute)
Person you took pictures of: jason?
Do you like surveys? if they aren't stupid
Do you get along with your parent(s)? rarely
Do you have mental breakdowns? of course

The Present
Current mood: saddened by the results of this thing...
Current music: Common, Simple, Beautiful Jenifer Chung
Current hair style: messy bun
Current crush: no one :[
Current thing I ought to be doing: homework/projects
Current windows open: deviantart, youtube, aim
Current desktop picture: this upside down tree thing
Current book: betrayed (chasing yesterday series)

Did you ever...
Get into a fist fight in school? no
Run away from home? no
Want to be a doctor? for a bit because of my daddy
Want to be a fire fighter? nopw

Do you...
Know how to swim? yes
Like roller coasters? nope i love em
Own a bike? yes, but it is rarely used
Think you could eat the stuff on those reality shows? i dont think so...

Does...
Hair loss run in your family at all? no
Your car get good gas mileage? i guesss
Your family have family picnics? no ]:

How...
Old are you? 15
Tall are you? 5'3
Much money do you have on you right now? none?

What...
Are you listening to? Common, Simple, Beautiful -Jennifer Chung
Is the weather outside? its nighttime so darkness
Radio station do you listen to? KIIS, KROCK, KOST
About me: i just told you

wow im really bored... hehe last night was homecoming game and it was really fun. last week i saw eagle eye... its really good! and nick and norahs infinite playlist was like the cutest movie ever! haha and really funny too...

check out like the randomest youtube video of us at saigon noodle house before the football game with caitlin, angie, helena and helena's dad? yeahhhh....

[link]
(it should be the featured video)

lalala bye